After Tomorrow

After Tomorrow
I may not see you,
your dazzling, gorgeous face
your priceless smile
I am ready to die for
your presence,
I cherish the most.
Your ogles
beautiful thing happend to me
and after tomorrow
I may not see you
or else
I may not see me.

After Tomorrow
I may not be amid you
and I'll miss you - Achingly
let me scribble it
let me speak my heart out.
After tomorw,
distances'll fall
and
each second'll turn into a century
every dawn'll bring poignant sheen
days'll be down in the dumps
and dusks'll bring insomniac nights.

After tomorrow
you may never hear my name
never you hear my poetry
I WRITE FOR YOU.
but remember,
i'll never halt my pen
to bleed in your gratitude
I'll never cease my heart,
from loving you-unconditinally
I can never stop my mind
from your reverie.
And I may never restrain my eyes 
for searching you everywhere.
Remember
I'll love you
till - I'm above the earth
and the day is I'll mourn
when I breath beneath it.

After tomorow
I'll love you even more
I'll make odes
in your tribute
without thinking about
metaphors and similes
without rhymes and limits.


After tomorrow
I'll look for you
behind my back
in my room,
listening to my poems
(smiling, raising you eyebrows in reply)
I'll search you
in my books
in Agha's splendid poetry
and when
Rumi's ravishing verses
dance in the silent chords of harp.
And in the whole obsession
I'll forget to search you In ME.

Nature Wants Us To Introspect

Since the flood fury, a drizzle send shivers down the spine of Kashmiris. Whether it is the result of our deeds or “test by God”, in both the cases we aren’t ready to change ourselves. The sad part is that we don’t even bother to think whether we should mend our ways or not. The rain, which frequently enriches the beauty of meadows, forests and fields, has come with devastation to the disturbing limits of unattractiveness.

A well known Kashmiri proverb goes “huen’ lot tra’yaak khumbs, tat’ ti dra’aaw huen’ lot uy “ – which means bent tail of a dog was kept under the soil, but it couldn’t get rid of its curviness. I mean from the preceding catastrophe in the form of earthquake of 2005 it is clear that we did not learn any lesson and if we fail to learn anything now then above mentioned saying suits us better.

Think it this way. When everybody was shouting pick up and run away with whatever you can, look for a safe shelter wherever possible, when everybody was beating his/her bosom and was enchanting the holy verses of Quran and repenting for his/her hidden and apparent sins, and when some others were shrieking that Jhelum has breached its borders; nature above there must have mumbled, ‘you ruined and wasted my beautiful resources, now face my wrath’.

“Poz chu toth” – truth is bitter and the reality is that Jhelum was not breaching its banks but it wanted to reclaim its original limits; looking for what once was its own and what people had usurped now to build beautiful concrete. Of course in the search of its limits, Jhelum destroyed whatever came to halt its march – mostly the illegal constructions along the threshold of Jhelum. It is a clear indication that nature unleashes its rage not at all by itself but when it is compelled to do so by the greed of a man.

Yot tam poz pazi, tot’tam alam dazi – “until the truth is revealed, the world would have burnt to ashes. The recent catastrophe in the valley undeniably exposed the undue interference of humans in nature, which otherwise must be allowed to take its own course. Whether it was because of heavy rainfall or anything else, if we had paved way for overflowing Jhelum waters to ease itself, we could have saved ourselves. Now even if we are ready to greet its pact but it would be like “shaal tchlit bath’n lor’I” – To beat hedges after the jackal has run away.

William Ruckelshaus once said: “Nature provides us a free lunch but only if we control our appetites.” Alas, for our materialistic lust we have destroyed it all!. We left it with no option but to destroy us. It merrily did. It rendered us helpless, so helpless that we didn’t even know where to run for. Doesn’t all that call for some introspection? Introspect, we must!


Aversion of this article was also published in print edition of daily Kashmir Reader on Thursday, 13 November 2014 http://kashmirreader.com/nature-wants-us-to-introspect-25512

" UnSung Emotions "

There is a word of love
which;
they narrate through eyes
in every profund silence
that reigns
and shines on them.

There is a world
where they meet
before the sun hit the mountains
where they exist
beyond a great margin
but beats together.

There comes a span
one after every round
that clock makes
when obscurity looms
on Box and dice.
Of night's woven darkness
where they have a tryst
when rest disappears
and sleeps in the slumber.

There comes a dawn
when they break
frozen and befallen serene
when they speak
and somethings go unsaid.

There is a land
where insanes reside
and call themselves Human.
where moon is blamed
when sun hides
where cloud bursts
but never bring rain.

where he beholds her
the reason for;
the heart his bosom embraces
where his world depopulates
when she remain unseen

and sun rains poignancy
and moon turns black.


Where they have build nest
of dreams; living together.
Of sapphire curtain
dangling on the pane.
Of crimson carpet beneath.

Where he would fondle her
and make odes
in her love and tribute
where his eyes stick
to the way;
he still waits there
They cherished last where.

~ Obsession ~

When my gaze land
on her silky cheeks,
my heart throbes hastly
my blood in vains rush
as it was stopped for years.


Things appear in a beautiful attire ...
My sun mounts in the west
waters flow in the opposite trend
intoxicated twilight sings 'Yeh shaam mastani, madhosh kiya jaiye'
when dawn starts with 'Pyar dewana hota hai mastana hota hai'


In every slumber,
I hark her wrabbled voice
sweeter than any music of lyre
In solitude I saw her like apparition
I felt her scent mingled and
dancing in the breeze
In dream I saw her as my bride
in a finest white garb
with a crown of flowers.


In the garden of Adam and Eve
we ate the fruits of restricted plant
we rest in the moonlit dusk
and the golden rays of moon
shines and busses on her neck.
And her gem like eyes led me
to the doors of heaven.

All I want to meet her
for an instant,
I want to let her know
Vis-a-vis,
that I Love You
that I Live You
that I Dream You- honestly saying

I Love You
not just the three words are they
but the verse
I chant and sing
in my every breath.


I Live You,
A tinge of sensation - I feel
when THY soul mongles with mine.
Vanish this fathomless silence - beloved
and let this world shrink
Under the burning sun
In the hovering moon
In our Love, and the life
I Live, In you
I Live for you.

I dream you
is the world
where the two of us exist.
Where silence sings
the chorus of love
where winds dance unconsciously
after your enthraling voices
where roses lend the fragrance
from the petals of your crown.
I dream
where I spend sundown's
beneath your silken tresses
and sunrises
in your gorgeous lap.

Don't Fall In Love But Rise In Love

Regardless of the endeavors we go through, to procure what our desires urge us to pursue; It is too truthful a statement to be rebuffed that very few manage to achieve the ambitions they have set before them. Hence, we are left with no option but to accept what destiny has already framed for us. Without dwelling further on the helplessness we are overpowered by, before the strange case of Destiny etc, let me turn to the theme I have chosen for today's write up. Yes -" Don't fall; rather rise in Love". Facing the harsh reality, it is quite reasonable to say that your ride can't always turn out to be smooth when you fall in love. It is certain, for a time being, your life may appear to be full of excitements, dramas and happiness. Everything else seems running unhindered. Even its pain itself take the form of cure like, glitterati Leo Dicaprio (Jack) felt after falling in love with Kate Winslett (Rose) in TITANIC . This merriment and delight can last long but all you have to do is to keep rising in love instead of falling in it.

In the current times, being in relationship is not a new thing but as common as anything. For a time being, getting crazy about someone seems nice to such an extent that even the person (himself/herself) hardly wishes to get rid of it but once you lose your prestige, then and only you become conscious to the cost of being in relationship. When the ecstatic moments take no time to turn into wails and dreadful ones and very soon this agitation of nerves lets you to realize that what you were portraying the dream was only an illusion in real life. The euphoria fades away and you are faced with sufferings along with a great deal of distress and chaos. In my views; one should not get involved in relationships preposterously. "Dribs-and-Drabs are the people who respect the emotions of others while as rest of the lads just consider Love as a convenient route to pass the time– which is highly disgusting and condemnable.

Quite often we “Bend our Ears” on this topic and come up with a bulk of views on it. Love has no set answer for it. Different minds deliver different judgments about love and it mainly depends upon the person how they treat and get treated by it. Poets and authors have tried to define the statement of love for centuries and many of us know intuitively that love is major purpose for living- the connection which is inherent in all that we do and sans love we cannot survive as a species but love is a complex matter and if it could be elaborated logically, all the relationships would get their goals and all the agonies it cause will vanish away.

A widespread perception goes: “Love is blind” or “futile”. These are just some false ideas raised by losers in this field. But my conscience says love is force that can help you to expand your life and bring forth your innate potential with dynamic vitality but the condition is that you’ve to do it with the hearts purity, in a nice and fair way. A healthy relationship is one in which two people encourage and bring out good in each other. Hush-hush, if you tend to neglect your kindred while being in a relationship; if your partner becomes your only central focus; if you over shade everything else excepting it, you are surely going on a wrong track. And definitely will its negative influence affect your life - thus depriving you of the perfect happiness. Antoine de saint – Exupery, the author of the LITTLE PRINCE, once wrote, “Love is not two people gazing each other, but two people looking ahead together in the same direction.” By following these words, your relationship will last longer and that too in a cheerful manner. Simply, when both the partners share similar values, beliefs and respect their differences, there is a little possibility of discord. Safety lies in avoiding getting so love-struck as to attempt creating a world where only the two of them exist and succumbing to the view that love is the “be all and end all”.
In the end, let me admit that sans respect and trust neither will the relationship last long nor will two people be able to bring out the best in each other.So don't follow the literal meaning and fall in love - rise in love anyway, you and I keep rising.

Fallen Twilight

Braving the odds alone
Perplexed,
Ruptured in catastrophes’
Amid shrieking tranquility
He was wailing – on his deceased paramour
Beneath the maple – on the recliner
The falling twilight – was reminiscing  him
The every tryst they had, there
On the same recliner,
Beneath the same maple
 Resting his head – in her lovely lap
Staring her elegant face
bruising his lips on her forehead
clasping and nurturing her with love
sweeping off her tears – from her cheeks
Holding her hands,
leaving and holding again,
entwined his fingers with her.
Cherishing her priceless smiles,
Her ogles and Tattle-Tales.
Missing her achingly,
He was wishing for her presence – only
He was craving for a soul – for his Skelton
and a charm – for his uncharmed  face
Even the fascinating communication of birds,
made him feel so deaden and seclude.
Once who was a mob in itself
was now alone and broken
like a moon amid stars.
Like a single tree in desert.
Like an Air on Lifeless planet
with nobody to respire it.

I don’t wanna live life anymore, he said;
Not by befriending her dearth
Not with her apparition.
Memorizing the time,
when she “swept him off his feet”,
Interim;
He got a lump in his throat
He – on the verge of tears
Narrated – I lost all I had
I lost her – I lost life
for she was a life of mine.
Life – Life sans her is like;
a creek with no water in it to flow.
It’s like a new dawn
sans mounting sun – sprouting its sheen.
It’s like a cloudy firmament
but no rain to rain for years.
Is like this maple tree,
When beneath its me sans her.
Its like this recliner,
Where I’m resting alone,
without her lap I laid my head in.
Without her hands with I’d have entwined mine.
Without her face, I used to stick my eyes upon.
It’s like this planet but with no life doable on it,
With no Sun and a Moon to dazzle it.
It’s like ME Sans HER...

`` Fragile Silence ``

With lamented eyes and poignant heart
every beat sounds sad and every tear shrieks
on the brink of tributary, on the pebbly floor
amid of fathomless silence, and water acoustics
hand in glove like silence and dusk are
and cheerless river was tarrying for my arrival.

Like sun was going to dip in the creek,
and enchanting communication of birds.
Like flourishing buds hovering on the water
and the scene of dancing aquatics.

Like gloomy stream, I hold flowing soreness
inside along my hearts deep ravine.
Like gleaming rays, there exist no bounds
where my affections would give up.
Like blooming buds, Thee could adorn me
as they made this cheerless rivulet.

Like the firmament appears with earth on the horizon
I behold charisma beyond their every tryst.
Like the wind and the desert fragrances’ along
dune to dune – in the scent of dust.

Like their tryst – let us have the charm of one
beyond the horizon, on the sly.
Like wind and dunes – let us get mixed up evermore
in the aroma of love – Thee in Me and Me in Thee.

No more it'll remain a dusk - if we'll meet at the sundown
But'll emerge in a dazzling dawn - like sun and moon dancing as one.

~ Ode To My Tutor ~

Let this dusk ebbs in the obscurity.
let the dawn breaks the threshold.
Beneath the glittering sun & sunken stars,
let me knit some verses in his tribute.

Deep in my mind, there lies a bulk of queries,
I feel a lump in my throat
and a rush of beats inside the bosom.

Phew!

What If I couldn't mold my musings?
What If I couldn't shape them up?
The whole obsession- whets my appetite
and the answers came up in haste.
On his every gag; what I've cherished.
Within my heart; I'm glad,
for enthusiastic lad, I've chosen as tutor.

In him not less than an amigo - I've found.
A Lesson behind his every speech,
Not on the inkling notions - I'm telling this,
about this ebullient chap & his savvy.
Along the lanes of perceptions,
through my heart's whole realm,
I've beholden - what I'm jotting down.

I Desole! For my every Faux pas;
for I ain't befitting in thy anticipations,
for my bitter experience in thy subject.
Honest to Allah-I give it my best shot,
with a devoted mind - I've burned the mid-night oil.
Yet I find myself in the vibes of failure - haplessly.

From the touch of his fine style,
and the heights he has scaled in knowledge.
It seemed, no longer I am tamer.
About his clarity and Fanaticism, I wish I could say aloud.
They glints in him, alike stars in the firmament.
By his tact, I'm embolden to such extent,
that I'm revering calculus on the tip of thoughts.


In thy gratitude most amicably.
For thy clarity,
For the zeal I've engrossed.
So-Gracias for made me feel proud.
I remorse for my ha'p'orth ode to thee,
I remorse for my insufficient notions,
for my pen has wind up to compose further.
And I failed to explain Thee.
 

 

Beyond The Hills

The airstream beyond the dark hills – came in haste
with a scent of thine – with song of thy voice.
The serene reign on my senses – & appeared in Goosebumps
when I felt thy handshake & thy taut clasp.
The soreness was too hard to abide – that made me miserable
I grasp my head and sobbed my heart out.

Where you are? Who used to be my shadow ones
whom else my destiny will ask to expel next? – I’m afraid
Along the past memory lanes – I go to seek out Thee
Interim; with a poignant face – those beautiful moments
called me anew – to adore and to accompany me
For awhile eccentric loneliness – came in the finest attire
All the distressed  wits – get on their wings.

I saw Thee and I – having belly laugh – oh! Give me five
On those stupid gags – I used to cherish every dusk
Oh! How long? – How long I have to wait?
To see Thy striking face – “gem like eyes”.
To laugh those laughs again – To see Thee vis-à-vis
Come soon oh comrade – I hate to wait – Thou know.

Amid of filthy folks – I’m struck – I’m alone
So unfamiliar to me – about friendship – unknown they are
In the shadow of deep obscurity – beneath the starry sky
where we often take sojourn – I’m all secluded there
My spirit soars with a hope of meeting you gain
and tears trickle down my cheeks – with a great sigh
Any gift cost not a cent – nor this distance matters
To my “Tenfold Love” – From me to Thee
In Last, I admit – beyond the dark hills
Beyond the couple of fortnights – is where my ecstasies’ reside.

Oh Israel, I witness your tyranny!

 I fall short of words to perceive the chasm between being human and being Israeli. When I saw a child wailing amid corpses of his kin, when I saw a father holding his son and daughter dead in his arms, I fail to assemble an iota of courage to see the mother pulling out her hair madly on the demise of her newborn child; I couldn’t set a line that demarcates good from bad.

Israel is crossing all bounds of inhumanity and especially the bearded folks of the noble land; and what is intriguing is that the so called emperors of Arab have zipped their lips and turned their blind eyes. Their sloppy behavior reminds me of the great words of Albert Einstein: ‘The world suffers a lot. Not because of the violence of bad people. But because of the silence of good people”. And you are suffering because of the Arab’s silence and alliance with the West.

Oh Gaza I am achingly remorseful for the predicaments you have been going through since every dawn, for I could not render you even more than to join the mayhems on the roads and make prayers for you, for we are focused under the same dictator and occupied by the same oppressor and for abomination elude of justice.

I remember the Nobel saying of Prophet (PBUH): “Muslims are like one body, if any part of it complains, the rest of the body will also stay awake in pain and honest to Allah, I feel it!” I feel your thorns palpably. Let them raze your land and castles. Let them splash your blood to the bottom. Let you get the glorious tag of martyr and let them make mockery of it by inventing mobile app called “Bomb Gaza”: you just have to buck up and have faith on the Almighty’s will power as Allah reminds us and wants us to come close to him, “I fulfill the faith of whosoever puts his faith in me; and I am with him and near him, when he calls me”.

Oh my unarmed warriors you have to grin and bear the tyranny of these tyrants. Let you conquer these war mongers by your strong prayers in the utmost dispirited and depressed times and let Allah conk them out. I witness your sufferings. I witness for that each blood drop your land has engrossed within. I witness the mute spectators of Muslim nations and I witness Israeli’s blatant discrimination and their tyranny.

A version of this article was also published in print edition of Kashmir Reader on Sunday, 31 August 2014 http://kashmirreader.com/buck-up-gaza-20812

What Are We Heading towards?

Since the times immemorial, from the day of bull carts to the era of jets; we have scaled lofty heights. Technology and goods of utility surround us. By all means we are living in a luxurious present but haplessly we are demolishing our future days on the other side. The absurd curiosity of the new era of technology has rusted our mind and soul as well.

We have lost touch with our earthly beings; the glorious traditions of the past and those refined habits inherited from our elders to show our respect towards out fellow human beings. Most of us now fail to display courtesy towards elders, indicative of our meager cultural gains in a world driven by technology.  We read a lot; yet, it seems, we understand and practice only a little. It reminds me of Kafka’s noble words: “I think we ought to read only the kind of books that wound or stab us. If the book we’re reading doesn’t wake us up with a blow to the head, what are we reading for?”

                              

Kafka’s words befit the present times in the sense that need is not to attire oneself first with branded cloths, watches and use of smart phones but to conduct oneself in a pleasant manner. Need is to act with the utmost courtesy towards older persons and especially towards female gender. Much of the time we folks say that zamana bada kharab hai (times have turned bad) but how often do we do some introspection.

We are abreast of the affairs of world by using smart phones or by other means, but we lack the smartness of the grey matter. Among the most threats, the engulfing rise of drug addicts and road Romeo’s has perished the bedrock of our society. And on the other side some bare-faced female folks have bungled the fair name of the valley (the valley of saints). We may become doctors, engineers, authors and the like but utmost need is to become a pious person first that would enhance our mentality and not to land us in the fool’s paradise. Parents ought to remain enough cautious towards their children and not let them resort to wrong activities that are most likely to ruin them as well as the future of the whole society. Lack of brotherhood is another nuisance in our living world. Time is to yearn for real faith, brotherhood and co-operation because we have got trapped in the net of predicaments where our future seems blurred and withered. We are under the focus of dictators who just dream of our separation and incoherence.

Time is to cease all those things which are behind and step forth onto those which are about to arrive. It is time to remember past just enough to shun repeating mistakes and put the rest of it all on the dung heap. Even the Almighty doesn’t care nearly as much about where you have been as he does about where are you and where are you heading off to. 

A version of this article was also published in print edition of Rising Kashmir on Tuesday, 05 August 2014 http://www.risingkashmir.com/what-are-we-heading-towards/

An Ode To Death

Beyond the earth’s shell
is where my heart beats in haste
where I dig my own grave
and left myself there to live.

 

In the sheen of thy love
I behold madness in thy every glimpse
In the world – I had been depriving of.
I came here to endure
to get some sleep in thy soft cradle
and not to be bereaved of thy love – anymore.

 

In that plight instant
amid of vilest throng
when every tick-tock of the clock
made my heart to thud
and like thwarted thee for being mine.

 

To get departed from this filthy soul
I too have begged him [Angel of death] for death
to overcome all the calamities
my soul has strolled distance
to meet thine.

 

The life we had been living with tumults
we will cheer on its demise now
in the obscured & confined grave
we will be like flying birds
and not like the cons
in the liberated world.

 

Again love’ll come to me and I’ll pass it to thee
Again death would be the impediment
Again love’ll triumph & death shall not pass
Again we’ll get attire in the shroud of love
And again love’ll nuzzle us both.

Episode Of Ecstasy **

Phew!

Rewinding the day since morrow to dusk

As I’m going to pen down the memorable moment

The moment I shall never cease reminiscing about.


In the fuzzy look of dawn

When earth was craving for sun beams

When ambience held the arctic breeze

& birds were about to leave for chow.


A sort of sightsee twirl into a gad

I went out on a razzle with chummy comrades & colleagues

along the brink of Jhelum we had a voyage

& here we stepped onto the threshold of scene.

When the mesmerizing mountains,

nuzzled us in their clasp;

The puffs of air &

The warbled acoustics of stream[Jhelum]

added the soothe to our soul- In Parallel.


Time took wings like Einstein’s relativity

On our arrival, we had an alfresco lunch

And couplet of tiffs we did blithely

weird but it was a combat of peace & love

where it happened with no loss of penny

where we had nothing to wail & brood upon.


A fanatic sport we played with gusto

where we damped one another in water

where hearts met rather sever

That made a sad bursting into laughs & trills

Shimmering like emerald embers.


On the brim of chilled creek

We had a gossip, fun and fete

And we left the place with dilapidated hearts.

My words made a difference

Our amuse depicted it vividly

That the world was our oyster today.

My Heaven On Earth *

I Gasp!
In my hearts whole realm, the tranquility reigns
If I am able to précis about my little heaven.
for awhile away from grief and despair
I went out on a razzle with nostalgic moments,
along its ocean of ecstasies and euphoria’s
Episodes of tumults and commotions sank and perish.

Amid its fond warmth of love and nuzzle
All the hatred and throbs came to a halt.
From its lenient womb to its lap of luxury
Its emblems of contentment on my triumph.

of my vivid savvying of that every tear
that thee wailed on my hapless befall.
Through the trait of my grey matter
of reminiscing the old events of yore,
Thy incessant enduring on every vicissitude
Thy inspirations of being sturdy against tragedies.
In the times of my crippling maladies
I feel thy insomnia, thee tasted.

I desole! On my bended knees;
for my unexpected guerdons.
For this ha’p’oth eulogy of thee son
for that every faux pas I took in thy absence
I took a solemn pledge that I’ll dodge them all.

Oh Mother! The verses I’ve woven in thy praise and my remorse
flunked to depict the pain and gain.
For my hearts peace and tranquility
I stuck my gaze on thy gorgeous face.
As it strikes a chord of love with me,
on the harp, from the cradle to the grave.
Of thy love, a blessed meed from deity
If I would find my grave beneath thy feet.
In my little heaven, till the whole voyage
from life to death and death to life.

Reproach

From the ail to that every remedy
To that ebullient love from thy every sneak
It speaks to me, about our broken amity
About thy breach of oaths,
of being with me through thick and thin.
From the distance of thousand memories,
Along those million seconds
Thou came, Thou stayed and Thou left.
I remorse for being thy intimacy,
When in return thou perish it all.

From the every chat to that every rendezvous
To that tender from the every tiff
It speaks to me, about thy absence
About thy pangful adieu – the most I was scared about.
From the tears to that every smile
To no avail efforts from every travail
Beside thy footprints, a twinge thou left within me.

From the ways to that every voyage
To that every step we strolled together.
 It speaks to me, on account of travelling alone
About my lost comrade, about Thou.
From the BIG BANG to the BIG CRUNCH of our kinship
To the LITERATURE from the expression of PHYSICS
I write is the proof Thou still exist
I mourn, I reproach that you don’t.

Conflict, Education and Future

[Plight of a student in a conflict-ridden environment]

Recently as I bid an adieu to my 20^th birthday, I have begun to realise that with each passing year, I am carrying some burden from the last two decades of conflict that seem to cage me without my explicit consent. There is something more than the acres of land that have de facto passed on to me as part of our ancestral legacy and that is the melancholy drawn from the curfewed nights and catastrophic days which were circumstantial if not ancestral in nature.

I was born a couple of years after tehreek in the Valley began. In what I see now, my birth has corresponded with the peak of the movement. When I was too novice to understand the tales of tehreek from my maternal uncle, my fabled granny and from other kith and kin of mine about crackdowns, curfews and predicaments in our village and all around during 90s; least was I aware such things might be impacting me as a student in years to come. 

As a student as I try to explore a golden future for me I feel the conflict of all these years has already taken its toll on me as most of my student time seems to have stayed underutilized. All those perturbing incidents like fake encounters, killing of youth, raping of women, torturing men, and days of starvation and diurnal curfews seem to be lurking at a mental spot where precious books should have. The conflict has hit the student population of the Valley badly.

The student population of the Valley has witnessed conflicts within conflicts. For example, when in 2009 Shah Faisal became the first Kashmiri to top the civil services examination and the whole Valley was cheering for him, the student population had little to bask about as they were caught between mourning, curfews and overall unrest triggered by Shopian rapes. They were stuck between the predicaments and continual strikes and shutdowns. If we look back right from the times of tehreek, it is the education system of our state that has been suffering the most and student population of all classes and all regions the worst hit victims.

I do not want to shy away from a confession. It is my low percentage in the 12^th examination. I could have done more and probably made my family proud by securing a distinction or above. But one of the main reasons that I have got the low percentage in my 12^th class is the shutdown of almost five months and troublesome situations in Kashmir. Such an atmosphere is anything but conducive for a student for whom lack of conflict during studies is as important as breath in life.

At a time when Kashmiris were cheering on the success of Shah Faisal, the future of Valley students was at bet. A student who wants to learn, to serve the nation, to fulfill the dream of his  parents; a student who has been called as the bedrock of our society wants to come out of his home to study and it is sad he  is not able to do just that on account of the conflict.

In the whole scene out of pocket students are the worst sufferers of this conflict as they are not able to pay to private tutors. They find themselves ground in the mill of predicaments and their dreams are shattered long before they are able to take wings.

And the sad part is that we are still suffering from those tyrannical times, we are still lacking the quality of education. I do not harbour any doubts about the capability of students of my homeland. They have the will and capability to excel in almost every field; only if there could be an end to the conflict and someone has the courage to give an ear to them. Till that doesn’t take place in a conflict-ridden territory as our, we will also have to mourn the murder of a million dreams.


A version of this article was also published in print edition of Rising Kashmir on Thursday, 12 April 2014. http://www.risingkashmir.com/conflict-education-future/

Thy Goodness *

From where do I scrape the words?
From where I can bring them?
To rede thou and thy virtue.
It was predestined of being thy intimacy
become thy comrade was my serendipity.
I don’t remember the day we befriended – a rendezvous by fate
But I can perceive thy trilling voice,
It sounds more melodious than anything.
I haven’t seen thou vis-à-vis yet,
but I can assure folks, not little less of God’s grace.
Pious lass, a loyal daughter & a bosom pal.
Enumerate well traits I perceive in thou – I must say

It may seem funny and fatuous,
but I have had suffered deficiency of vitamin U – [Grins & Giggles]
Pleasure was mine & blessing of  Almighty
I wasn’t worth a gift to have thou as pal – I know
As I think of thy amity – I initiate to perceive
Mere words can’t construe what thou mean to me.
I would like to narrate and thou to hark,
there is a women in thou who always kept me at zenith
whose care, love and support let me to fly,
the damsel I have found myself in – Is thou
what it feels in thy absence – let me tell
Is same a one feels after days of nothing to eat and with desperation,
Is like a waif is wailing in loss of home
like desserts are shrieking for rain,
Give me a break I’ll make thou known about
Thy simplicity and being shy has driven me somewhere along
I don’t wanna come back from.
Today, Tomorrow I may die;
 I would like to wear the shroud of thy love
and thy heart as my grave, oh! My amigo

Phew!

My notions have given up.
My fingers ain’t able to accompany me anymore
My pen has halted to compose further
And I failed to explain Thou.

Sans Thou*

It is my soul where thou reside
my heart where thou beat
my eyes & ears where from thou watch & hark
my breaths the path where thou travel
my mouth from where you speak
my life where do thou exist
simply, Thou are where I am
and what I am is nothing sans thou.

Like flower seems sans smell
honey sans taste
Oceans sans water
firmament sans sun & moon
book sans script,
And me sans Thou.

Like song seems sans music
dessert sans rain
earth sans flora & fauna
a child sans mother
heart sans love,
And me sans thou.

At the time of dusk – thou came
through thick & thin thou have stayed
In the amidst of catastrophes & poignant anxieties
Thou bring along such sheen – that has obviated the pang
and new dawn with ecstasies & euphoria’s came in my being.

Just because I ain’t telling thou – doesn’t mean I don’t do
I didn’t sleep many nights – in thy memory.
I am so afraid of losing thou – All I can say or do is I Love You
Thou are the angel I have met – of late
the mere one who’d brought smiles along
I realized thou are the dream come true.
On the continual tarry for thou
when thou retort back avec love words
that will relish my being & let me live anew.

Dialect Of A Dream

In the melancholy of darkness.
In the amid of sleepy scene
I heard the shrieks of sunken yore
Puzzled beneath the grasp of memories
Something uncanny is hidden & unknown
In the obscurity, I feel thy sensation
I refrain, I travail to get out of this cage [Dream].
In awful state – frozen & timid
In the visit of thine – anew
The bruise thou caused in the deep inside
The way my tears trickle down – Inexplicable
 and blood along the vains cease.
In the gruesome trauma – I lost my ataraxia.

The unfathomable dream I had
In the amidst of darkness – Awhile I paused
I embrace the loneliness – befriended calamity
In the tranquil night – I am all alone
The soggy walls of dark room speaks to me
Thou is irate with me – they said;
I Love You still – Is the retort they gave
Let me tell you AMY – I ain’t gonna forget and move on
If not here, If not yet
Don’t renounce – we’ll make it there
Our dream ’ll come true – of being together
of being on the land where fairies dwell
In the house – with sapphire curtains – on the brink of rivulet
In the serene atmosphere – burst of flutterbies.
As I laid on the bed – my eyes were closed
A tear drop I felt on my cheek – Interim
I ope my closed eyes – I saw her wailing
On the separation of ours – since ago
Antonyms of hate I felt for her – at the moment
I bussed her teary eyes & plead to narrate those magical words
And let me feel the deva ju sensation of thy clasp
and don’t kiss me an adieu anew – I plague too.

Lovelorn "

I gasp!
In the fuzzy look of dawn
beneath the duvet of dreams
I felt her clasp;
our entwined hands & her breathes.


Amid the innocuous emotions
I flunked to capture the scene of affections
Interim we went to the land where fairies dwell,
where we abode beneath the crimson buds
we recline on the verge of rivulet
and stick the gazes to the firmament.


She removed the strand of hair from her cheek,
she tugged my hand and snuggle – I love the most
as the morning breeze held the chill
the sun also splashed its beam, gradually it turned yellow from orange.


Her invaluable benevolence of being my intimacy – every time
Her grins & her venting of breathes nearby my neck
made a stupid me to fell for her – again & again
All the senses of mine, greatened the intensity,
colors seem brighter – alluring
sounds more resonant – pleasing
and smells even powerful – soothing


Nature seem even prettier when her gaze meets mine
In her eyes which gleams more beautiful, more ravishing;
than any pearl known to me
In her sedate eyes, I went deep to sink
slowly her lips bussed my cheek,
In the zeal our lips were about to meet
and I lost myself in the sensation of her embrace.


Interim a yank of reality shuts the scene,
and shook up my mind
I wailed to realize it a dream only,
I awaken with a dilapidated heart
and I leaned back with a handful of abridged appetite.

A Tinge Of Pain

I didn’t know it
but I am not a hostile
oh! I ain’t
I’m your comrade, Listen
with a feeble heart
just a need of thy ogle
and a pleasure of heed
will make it all at end
hoodoo is all mine
my surly behavior let you to shirk
beyond the dark hills like the howl irks
when heart erupts in throb
when tears trickle down
a tinge of something I feel
I thy absence.
Since the outset of our amity
to the end of every composed verse
we did a couplets of tiff
still in Omni orisons
we made a wish in contrite
of everlasting fellowship of ours
out rightly In the outing of time
we wove the dreams of overexertion, we shouldn’t
and the threads of being one,
we tied are torn apart
the rivulets and sobs of heart
have dried up & vaporized in tears.
The jerk of relic moments;
their redolence;
they replenish the eyes with anguish
on their arrivals,
from yore through my hearts ravine.
In estimate sighs of wail
I timid my soul gradually
In the Google of thou
where I hear the hearsays of thine
fatuously I cry out on every halt
Thy breach of oaths fanned the flames
I amend, I vigil for my solemn vow’s
like a waif in the loss of home
In the loss of domicile, he wails in agony
Isn’t it outlandish, In the dale of love,
Romeo is suffering from Philophobia
Ask me, I won’t dalliance
I have straggled in straits
Just in the starvation of thy amity.

Hanging*

After the breaking of dawn
surreptitiously I was clutched
from the quod to my last journey.
In the haste I bid an adieu to Omni mate
to those surly walls I’ve spent a decade with
I recite the holy verse of Quran and Liven up myself.
They bestow me with a pen & paper
on the betimes solicit of mine.
As I want to jot; jot down for my kindred’s
for my amigos and for my land.
A far & wide from me; but as close as breathes are
For awhile I closed my eyes to overcome the calamity
and here I find myself amidst of kinfolks
having the sips of non-chai  & colloquies
wrapping KANGRI [fire-pot] beneath the PHERAN [cashmere cloak]
To keep the winter chill at bay.
In the midst of scene, I went out on the razzle
I roam along the rivulet of my orchard
where birds utter mellifluously, creeks sing seamlessly and flowers fascinate.
In the interim, I harked the chuckles of “ Ghalib ”
I saw him lounging towards his BABA
and “ Tabbasum ” was in ecstasy – she had been depriving of
I reminisced the time of fetes I entertained with comrades
I see long queues of folks outside my home
tarrying for my arrival & my home is festooned in Toto,
I ope my eyes as I felt the jerk of men
& I summed up my entire life in sojourned yore,
They took me to my last journey of yards
The walls of courtyard carry a soggy look
They were groaning, moaning & sobbing
In the loss of their durable companion.
The hands of clock are ticking swift
my hands are tied to my back
An I saw a snare of white rope – dangling ahead of my eyes
Subitary they attired my head with a black grab – I never used to
In the serene atmosphere I heard the ticking of clock
obvio. I was living the last tick-tocks of life
I felt the snare on my neck
my heart starts to throb hastily,
the man pulled the lever
and I am hanged…

I Had A Dream ^^

I had a dream that we were together

and we abide in the serene skies.

Beneath the sapphire curtains of heaven

reclining on the crimson beds of flowers,

where we recreate and recast the time for us.

A new dawn in the deficiency of miles

along the floor of stars we make a romance

we make them shine more & others ignite.

I had a dream that in the time of every dusk

thou were my valentine & I sent thou first sigh

amidst of stars & fiddling puffs of air,

we could take a dinner on the verge of dazzling moon

amid of colloquy we repose in the lap of cosmoses

& when I awoke I were there in the cradle  of thine

I had a dream that I could make you mine

all I yearned for the everlasting company of thine

I don’t know if I were worth to thou

still I dreamt a simple dream of being with thou

and the dream I dreamt remained a dream for me.